Pastor James Byun Blog: January 2011

This was written by Heather.

When God shared His plan for us to move to Korea and to plant an international church, although it was a very difficult decision for us, since we loved our home, and our church so much, I did not think I would be homesick when I got to Korea. After all, I grew up there and it was my home for 23 years!

When I first moved to the US, I remember imagining myself walking in certain streets in Korea all the time. People who came to the States before me told me that it was a sign that I was homesick. Now, I am back in Korea, the land I missed so much and was homesick over, but I found myself continuously thinking about certain streets in Maryland and driving there. I was homesick again! This time, I was homesick for the US. I could not believe myself! I knew I would terribly miss my church family, but I did not know I would miss my home back in Maryland this much!

I found myself often thinking about what I would be doing if I were still in Maryland and I found it so discouraging. When can I ever say I am finally home? Do I need to wait until I die and get to heaven? I felt so restless and hopeless. But then, I noticed something very interesting.

My third child, Joshie (3), loves band aids, but ever since we moved to Korea, he loves them even more. I thought that it might be his own way of getting adjusted to Korea, so I just left him alone, but it was becoming more interesting. He would put a band aid on for anything anywhere, even when he does not even have a scratch. He puts two or three band aids in his pocket when we go out just in case. No matter what happens, he runs to a drawer where band aids are and after he put his band aid on, he is okay.

One time, he was peeling an orange and the juice went into his eyes. I heard him crying, but all of a sudden, he stopped crying, so I just looked at him to check if everything was okay. And when I saw him... Oh my... He put a band aid on his eye and he could not even see anything! I so wish I had a picture of him! I laughed so hard and I cannot stop laughing even now while I am writing this blog.

God really spoke to me through this incident. Joshie was able to find his own rest with the band aids. No matter what, he would run to his band aids and then all of a sudden, he was okay. What about me? What is my band aid? I want to share this one hymn song. It goes like this.

What matters where on earth we dwell? On mountaintop or in the dell. In cottage or a mansion fair, Where Jesus is 'tis Heaven there.
Oh hallelujah, yes, 'tis Heav'n to know my sins forgiv'n; On land or sea, what matters where? Where Jesus is, 'tis Heaven there. (Since Christ My Soul From Sin Set Free-내 영혼이 은총 입어)

I have my band aid, too. Why do I keep forgetting and trying everything else when I could just run to my band aid, Jesus! Why do I always doubt that this band aid is more than enough for me and it really works all the time!

I am trying to settle down in Korea, hoping that this time, it will be really our home, but who knows? God may move us again. But, why would it matter? Where Jesus is, that is my home, my rest, and my Heaven! I just need to run to my band aid wherever I am and I will be home. So... Yes! I am finally home! Jesus, please help me always always run to you no matter what!

Here is a picture of Joshie.

Joshie with Joey

Joshie enjoying the sun in Maryland

Joshie clowning around

It has been a while since I last updated my blog. My apologies.

I have been on the road since December 14. I arrived in San Francisco on December 14 and went to Israel on December 28. On January 6, I flew back to San Francisco and then on January 9, I flew to LA, where I am currently. I will be here in LA for another 2 weeks before heading back to San Francisco for one day then I will go back to Korea after that.

This trip has been a blessing and in one aspect, it has been disappointing. I feel tremendously blessed to have been able to go to Israel. It has been a life-goal of mine to go to the Holy Land once before going to Heaven. I have always wanted to go walk the steps of Jesus. I really must thank my spiritual mentor, Dr. Gary Cook, whose generosity allowed me to travel to Israel.

Having gone to Israel, it is surreal to have seen and walked though where you know that our Lord Jesus has been. Our scholarly host, Dr. Jim Denison, often said while we were there, that the only one who was able to choose where He lived and where He was born was Jesus, yet of all the places He could have chosen to live, He chose Nazareth. He chose to be born in a lowly manger in Bethlehem. Going to Bethlehem and seeing His birthplace, you see the incredible humility of our Lord.

After coming back to the States, I saw the Passion of Christ again. Watching this movie after walking through Jerusalem really put His mission on earth in perspective. He was so focused on His mission to save man-kind. He literally went through hell and back to fulfill His purpose.

This morning I was listening to a sermon by Jim Cymbala on the perfect place to live. He said the perfect place to be is squarely in the will of God. Although tons of people say they would do the will of God IF they knew the will of God, I actually do not think the challenge is with revelation. I think there is enough revelation in the will of God. I think the real challenge is in execution. When Jesus walked through the Via Dolorosa, when He was on the cross, when He was enduring execution (or better said, when He was executing the plan of God), He was simply carrying out God's will. He was intent on execution.

This is why we need to understand the most important aspect of Jesus' prayer at the Garden of Gethsemane was when He prayed, "Not my will, but Yours be done." Being at the Garden, it would have been easy for Jesus to see Judas coming with the temple guards. It would have been easy for Him to run in the covering of the hills and the Olive trees. Yet, He chose obedience and the will of God.

We often wrestle so much with what the will of God is. Just stop, pray and search deep into the Holy Spirit that lives in you. Ask Him every morning, God, what is your will today? What do you want me to do today? Where do you want me to go? Be honest with yourself and with God. He already knows your heart. Admit to Him that the reason you cannot do His will is because of fear. I believe knowing and confessing this allows us to pray a different prayer. You might be stuck on praying for revelation prayers when you need to be praying for courage prayers.

When Heather and I were praying about going to Korea, there was great fear in the unknown. It has pretty much always been clear that God was speaking to us about going to Korea. The problem was not revelation. The problem was execution. I had so many fears about the unknown. I had great fears about our children and how they will adjust to Korean life and about their education. I had great fears about finances. I must admit that I still have these fears, but we are begging God to help us overcome our fears and to trust that He is bigger and better anything else. Where else could we put our hope?

While I was in Israel, I got an email from one of the mega church pastors in Korea. He heard that I moved to Korea. He wanted to talk to me right away. When I called him from Israel, he asked if I would be interested in joining Him at his church to lead their English speaking ministries. I was so honored. I have great respect for this pastor and have always wanted to be mentored by him. He really does have the hand of God on him. When he offered me a position, it really was tempting. In a sense, our fears would almost immediately be taken care of. Since this church has great resources, our finances would easily be taken care of. Since our finances would be taken care of, we could then take care of our children's education. This church would provide stability in a time when our lives seem unstable. With this one move, most of my fears could be gone and I would still be in Korea, thus fulfilling God's will for us to be in Korea. What a great gift from the Lord, right? No.

As I was on the phone talking with him, I kept praying, Lord, show me, guide me, and grant me your wisdom. Immediately, God reminded me of the focus of Jesus. He reminded me how focused Jesus was on the mission and call on His life. See, the problem right at this moment was not with revelation. God was revealing. The problem was with execution. God was calling me to be focused on the mission that He called me to. What was that mission? The mission that God called Heather and me to was in planting Lifespring Church. So I told this pastor, "I am extremely honored. However, I am in Korea for a reason and that reason is to plant a new International Church in Songdo. Please accept my deepest regrets. I still would love and be honored if I could meet with you time to time to get mentored." He said, "I would love to meet with you. Please call me when you get into Korea."

Satan is so sly. If he came to us with something that just sounded wrong, he knows that we would easily discard it. So what he does is to present us with something that is not bad. In fact, it is good, but the problem is that it is not for us. Here is an example. Remember when Paul wants to go to Asia and at Macedonia, the Holy Spirit prevents him from going to Asia but rather leads Paul to Europe? Is it a bad thing to go to Asia to spread the Gospel? Of course not! Acts 1:8 tells us to go into all the world. However, it was just not for Paul at that time. Remember that the only thing Satan needs to do is simply get you distracted. If he can simply take you off-course, He has succeeded. He will go through any length to get us distracted and off-target. He will even present you with things that are actually good things. During these times, we have to be firm. We have to be steadfast. We cannot budge on the mission God has for us.

If I had taken this position from this mega church, Lifespring will not be birthed, and yet my mission is to build and raise up Lifespring. Because I have chosen to stay on course, fears still remain. Fears still abound in all areas. They have not gone away. However, like Paul, I have known what it is like to live in plenty and in want. In all things, praise be the Name of the Lord. I am His child. He will take care of us. We will never lack for things and that is what we need to realize. God WILL take care of us when we step out in faith. I just hope I can execute well.

Search your heart. Are you stuck on praying for God's will when in fact, He may have already revealed His will. Perhaps the thing you should be praying about is not in knowing His will, but in carrying out His will. Perhaps today you need to pray for courage. Are some of you getting distracted, not with bad things, but good things? Stay on-course.

I started off this blog by saying that this trip has been a blessing but in one way, it has been disappointing. How appropriate that I speak to you today about laser sharp focus. One of my primary objectives of this trip was to complete my prospectus for my dissertation. It has been disappointing because I just cannot seem to write. I am confessing that I am actually writing this blog in the hopes that I can get back into "writer's mode." I hope that by writing anything, it will kick-start my writing mode. Sorry that I am simply using this audience to help me kick-start writing for my dissertation. I need to stay focused, just like I wrote about. I hope you understand.

I do realize that God has prepared everything for me to succeed. He has given me this free time. He has given me an incredibly supportive life partner in Heather. He has given me resources for me to travel. He has given me such an understanding and caring dissertation advisor. He has given me an escape from the frigid temperature of Korea. He has even given me an open place to study at various coffee shops. He has everything prepared. I just have to walk in it. What about you? Has not God prepared everything for you too? Everything is prepared for you to succeed. Just execute baby! Let's do this together!

Praying God's best for you! Love you!

Here are some pics of my travels.